Longer Blonde Jokes!!!

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| Longer Blonde Jokes |

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One day, a blonde was driving to California. On the way, she saw a sign that said, Clean Restrooms Ahead. By the time she finally reached the coast, she had scrubbed and polished 68 of them.

Two blondes were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks. The first blonde said, You know, those look like deer tracks. The other blonde said, No, silly, those are moose tracks. They were still arguing about it when a train hit them.

A blonde woman was very proud of herself for finishing her jigsaw puzzle in only two months; after all, the box said 2-5 years.

One day, two blondes were driving to Disneyland. As they passed through Anaheim, they saw a sign on the freeway that said, Disneyland Left. So they turned around and went home.

A dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus were all walking down the street. All of a sudden, they saw a $10 bill lying on the ground. Luckily for the dumb blonde, she was able to get to the money first, her friends didn't exist.

A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I don't think I could ever eat twelve.

One day, a blonde and her friend were walking through the park. Suddenly, the blonde's friend said, Oh, look, a dead birdie. The blonde looked up and said, Where?

A blonde woman became very depressed when she looked at her driver's license and saw that she had an F' in sex.

Once upon a time, there was a blonde who had six young boys, all of whom she named 'Jimmy'. One day, her aunt asked, Why did you name all of these boys 'Jimmy'? The blond said, So I can keep track of 'em. The aunt gave her a wild look. So you can keep track of 'em? How the heck can you do that when they're all named 'Jimmy'? The blonde looked at her aunt, shrugged and said, No problem, I just call them by their last names.

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing; so, after reading many books on the subject and gathering all of the necessary equipment, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy foot stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, as if from the sky, a voice boomed out, HEY, YOU, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a cup of cappuccino from her Thermos, and began to cut another hole. Again, a voice boomed, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde, now worried, moved to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and once again tried to cut the ice hole. Once more, the voice said, THERE ARE NO FISH THERE! The blonde stopped, looked skyward, and said, Who are you, God? The voice replied, NO, YOU DUMB BLONDE, I OWN THE @$#&! ICE RINK!

Three women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, were stranded on an island. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated the distance to be about twenty miles. So, she announced that she was going to try and swim back. After swimming five miles or so, the brunette began to get tired. However, determined to keep at it, she kept going. Unfortunately, ten miles out, she became exhausted and drowned. The redhead, who was stronger than the brunette had been, decided to give it a try. After getting out about ten miles or so, she too began to get tired. Just like the brunette, she was determined to keep going; only five miles from the mainland, she too became exhausted and drowned. Now, the blonde had always been the strongest of the three. And so, after seeing how far the redhead had gotten, she knew that she had a good chance of making it. The blonde swam away from the island, and was making good time. She passed ten miles easily; however, when she reached fifteen, she began to get tired, too. But she kept going. Finally, after reaching nineteen miles, with the mainland only a mile away and in sight, the blonde realized that she was simply too tired to go on. So she swam back.