Henry
rec.climbing 1996-1998

Here lie the remains of Henry's bones,
Smashed to pieces on the stones.
That 5.11 was way over his head.
So he slipped and fell. Now he's dead.

But as he tumbled through the air,
He closed his eyes and said a prayer.
"Oh Lord, please when I hit the floor
I pray my soul to fall some more.

For when I start my final climb,
To finish at that throne of thine,
I wish the multi-pitch to take.
Not be top-roped off the Pearly Gate."

And so he fell but didn't land
'Til he reached the dwelling of the damned.
Then he upped and bid Old Nick farewell
And started climbing out of Hell.

It's now all uphill whiche'r route he take.
And yet we hope for Henry's sake,
That the grading of his route to Heaven
Is somewhat less than five-eleven.

Climb On!

Henry isn't really dead. He's just signed off the internet for awhile (bidding farewell to the "hard climbers, good people, angry flamers and sorry losers" of rec.climbing) to enjoy a summer of unemployment in the Alps.