GUILT EXPIATION PROCESSINDEX PAGE.

    .    Guilt, within reasonable proportions, is useful.  It can prevent 
    a reoccurrence of actions which should not have occurred in the 
    first place and prompt you to make the appropriate amends.  
    However, when the effects of guilt go beyond this point to include 
    adverse effects upon your self-esteem, adverse effects upon your 
    career and/or relationships with others, if you find yourself 
    "sliding downhill" in an attempt to suppress your conscience 
    (such as through substance abuse), and/or you start engaging in 
    self-punishing behaviors, it's time to do something to resolve 
    these guilt feelings. Telling yourself "That was in the past, I 
    SHOULD be able to move on!..." is true; but, quite often, much 
    easier said than done; especially when the after-effects of your 
    actions or decisions linger on; or, when you've caused secondary 
    harm by your responses to your guilt feelings.  I've seen numerous 
    people who have caused far more harm (to both themselves and 
    others) as the result of their guilt feelings than that which was 
    caused by the original events.  When guilt has reached any of 
    these levels, it generally takes a significantly cathartic event to 
    break the cycle which is best summed by the feeling of, "The only 
    thing worse than being the sort of person who could've done 'THAT' 
    (whatever 'THAT' is) would be to be the sort of person who could've 
    done 'THAT' and then excused himself (or herself) for having done it" 
    and sense of closure required to begin the needed healing ...  Such 
    an event is no "cake walk" to obtain; however, the effects of not 
    being able to move forward are even worse.  Many of the things you'll 
    read on this web site will, in all likelihood, make you cringe and 
    want to dismiss this option.  Unfortunately, there are no easy 
    solutions -- if there were, it's highly unlikely that you would have 
    been motivated to find your way to this web site, in the first place.  
    What I offer is a tough solution to an equally tough problem.  This 
    process involves a very intensive, guided, self-inventory; and, an 
    appropriately severe (but safe and nonscarring) corporal punishment 
    for the events which caused the guilt.  It evolved as the result of 
    people who were dealing with significant guilt issues who had found 
    my other web site (which advocates changes to the current criminal 
    justice system); and, who contacted me to see if I'd be willing to 
    help them resolve their problem with "the judge in their head."  

    .    The intent of this web site is to lay a solid foundation for 
    our future communications, allowing us to spend our time 
    discussing your specific situation.  If I've referred you 
    here, understand that reading these files is NOT a substitute 
    for our communicating directly.  Web sites have many limitations, 
    one of which being the fact they must be written to address the 
    widest possible audience.  Some of the things you'll read here 
    are more "set in stone" than others.  I realize that each of you 
    is an individual, with your own set of circumstances; and, I do 
    my absolute best to customize our work together to accordingly.  
    Where I absolutely will NOT compromise are in areas which could 
    adversely affect safety, effectiveness, or the non-erotic nature 
    of this process.  If you feel that something is not thoroughly 
    covered and clear to you; or, if seems as though some aspect of 
    this process simply would not work for your situation; please be 
    sure to advise me of that.  I'll do my best to clarify any points 
    and/or exercise any justifiable flexibility.  Do NOT feel that I 
    don't have the time or inclination to visit with you personally.  
    I'm simply trying to save the time spent upon redundant typing 
    for giving you more personalized and specific replies. {smile}

    .    These pages are revised rather often, both to improve quality
    and to keep everyone updated of changes, as they occur.  Even 
    if you've read them before, I encourage you to read them again, 
    if you're last visit was prior to:  07/03/2002

    .    Due to time constraints, a few of the links are to pages 
    which are still in .txt format.  I'm slowly converting them to 
    html format; but, in the meantime, you'll need to use your back 
    button to return to this page from them.
     
    .   If you have had prior contact with me (such as from replying 
    to one of my ads); and, after reading these pages, you feel that 
    this was really not what you were looking for, PLEASE have enough 
    consideration to click on this link:  NO LONGER INTERESTED 
    notify me of that fact.  Spending time doing follow ups to people 
    who are not interested (but haven't had enough basic consideration 
    to tell me that) robs time from the people who really need and want 
    my time.  I do not have the luxury of assuming that a failure to
    reply means that person is no longer interested -- there are just 
    too many other factors which could be involved...  Using this link, 
    when appropriate, will prevent my wasting either of our time with 
    such follow ups..  I would appreciate any comments you might 
    care to include, especially to make sure that nothing you read 
    was misinterpreted; but, if all you feel like doing is to send 
    it as an empty e-mail, that's okay, as well, since it's already 
    pre-addressed with the subject line.  If your initial contact to 
    me was through a different e-mail nickname (such as a different 
    yahoo personals identity), please do include a reference to that 
    nickname, so that I can match it up and remove both from my 
    follow up files.


    .   To assist you in determining whether you fit the profile of 
    the people for whom this process is intended, I've posted some 
    questions and additional information.  That page is located at: 
    test.htm


    .    The next file you should read, to prepare you for reading 
    others, is: preliminary information


    .    Followed by: the triad file, to acquaint you with the basic 
    mental dynamics which are involved.


    .   After having determined that you're on the right web site, 
    the next stop is the section of the information file, located 
    at:  What should I expect?


    .   At that point, it'll be time to read  What's going to happen to me?, 
    which goes into more specific detail than most people would 
    really prefer; but, if you choose to undergo this process, I 
    want you to do so with a full understanding of what it entails.


    .   After reading that file, you'll probably be feeling rather 
    shaky; and, wondering if it would really be worth going through 
    in order to obtain the results you seek...  This is normal; so, 
    I've provided this file, to help you to regain your perspective.


    .   I'm currently working on a FAQ page, which is accessible 
    by clicking here. It contains the answers to some of the most
    commonly asked questions, which haven't always fit well 
    into other pages or have yet to be incorporated into them.  
    This is a rather important file for you to read.


    .    The next question everyone has is: What does this cost?, 


    .    Those who are serious enough to make this far are ready to 
    begin working on the application and the medical questionnaire.


    .   As the time grows closer for you to come here, you will need 
    the list of what to bring with you.


    .   Also, you might wish to review a copy of the consent form, 
    which you will be signing after you arrive here.  And, even if 
    you choose to bypass reading that one, please look at this link 
    to see the format needed for bringing along a signature notarization. 


    .   For those of you who might want to learn more about my efforts 
    towards criminal justice reform; or, how I became involved in all of this, 
    these links will explain a lot.


    .   If you would like to help me continue providing this service 
    without regard for a person's ability to pay, I would certainly 
    appreciate any donations which you choose to make. {smile}

      
    .   Feel free to e-mail me with any questions or concerns you 
    have; or, just to get better acquainted.  As I said at the 
    beginning, this page is NOT a substitute for contact between 
    us, only a means of reducing some of the more redundant typing, 
    in order to have more time available to devote to those of you 
    who are really serious about being able to move forward with 
    your lives.  Just e-mail: Kathy (Renbarger) at:   fedup@okplus.com
    If I don't have someone here, reply times should be within 
    about 24 hours; if I'm working with someone, I don't take time 
    away from someone who's here to spend time doing e-mail; so, 
    it could take a few days for me to answer my mail; but, you'll 
    receive that same courtesy when you are here, as well... {smile}

    .   I can sometimes be reached using Yahoo Messenger: 

    .   If you do not have Yahoo Messenger, it's free and available 
    to anyone (although you might have to sign up for a free Yahoo 
    account, if you don't already have one.)  So, just  click here
    to get it.

    .   In the event you ever get a bounced mail message from my 
    FlashNet mail address, simply resend it a day or so later.  
    Overall, they've been a good ISP; but, they sold out to Prodigy 
    and I've been very dissatisfied with the changes which have 
    occurred since the take-over...  As a last resort, send it 
    to my back-up address, which is:  guilt_catharsis@hotmail.com
    I don't check that address as often as my regular address; but, 
    in view of the way that FlashNet is being dismantled by Prodigy, 
    it seems prudent for me to include an alternate address...


    If you aren't going to contact me about following through with 
    this process, please fill out my survey, to help me improve my 
    ads and this site. {smile}


    .   If you are disappointed with what you found on this site, 
    due to having come here looking for something of a more 
    "bd/sm" nature, the bottom of this page will have some links 
    to sites which are perhaps more along the lines of what you 
    were looking for.


 IF YOU'D LIKE TO PLACE  ONE OF MY BANNERS  ON YOUR WEB SITE:
(Instructions included below.)







Banner placement instructions:

1) Move the mouse cursor over one of my banners and
   click the right mouse button.
2) A menu will pop up. If you use Internet Explorer, 
   simply click on "Save Picture As...", in Netscape, 
   click on "Save Image As...".
3) Another window will pop up, asking where you want 
   to save the banner on your hard drive.
4) Choose a name and location; then, click on "save".
5) Next, connect to your website (most likely via FTP) 
   and upload the banner to the location of your choice. 
   It could be "/images" or "/banner" or just your main 
   folder.
6) Finally, edit the page which shall contain the banner 
   by putting in the following HTML code: (replace the ????
   with the location and name you chose for the banner, 
   for example: "image/guilt01.jpg") and convert the text 
   below into HTML code, by replacing the ('s with <'s and 
   the )'s with >'s. (You may place all of the code on one 
   line.)

       (center)
       (a href="http://home.flash.net/~fedup/guilt/index.html" 
       target="_new")(img src="????" border="0">)(/a)(br)
       (/center)
   OR, if you are placing this banner on a web 
   site which is bd/sm oriented; PLEASE, use 
   the code below, since it will route people 
   through my doorway page, which clears up any 
   confusion link followers might have regarding 
   the type of web site they have connected to:
       (center)
       (a href="http://home.flash.net/~fedup/guilt/doorway.htm" 
       target="_new")(img src="????" border="0")(/a)(br)
       (/center)



































               Last updated: 10/30/2002






My previous counter provider shut down; so, I'm 
currently trying out several others, to see which 
one I like the best.  It also means that my count 
is about 9,000 short: