You Might be in a Texas Country Church If…

• The doors are never locked.
  
  
• The Call to Worship is "Y’all come on in!".
  
  
• People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
  
  
• The Preacher says, "I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," and five guys stand up.
  
  
• The restrooms are outside.
  
  
• A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, "I ain't ever been in a hole it couldn’t get me out of."
  
  
• In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of "two calves."
  
  
• Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy any meat or vegetables.
  
  
• When it rains, everybody’s smiling.
  
  
• Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service.
  
  
• The church directory doesn’t have last names.
  
  
• The pastor wears boots.
  
  
• Four generations of one family sits together in worship every Sunday.
  
  
• The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer, and then only so their neighbors can’t leave them a bag of squash.
  
  
• There is not such thing as a "secret" sin.
  
  
• Baptism is referred to as "branding".
  
  
• There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
  
  
• Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
  
  
• You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o’clock that afternoon you have had a dozen calls inquiring about your health.
  
  
• People wonder when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
  
  
• The final words of the benediction are, "Y’all come on back now, ya hear?"