This is an example of a very ordinary typo, drastically changed into a
terrible typo by the wonderful creators at Discworld MUD.
Some things you should probably know before reading:
- prepare 30 minutes of free time
- "sapient" is a sort of Discworld enchantment where a naturally
occuring plant life form becomes very animate
- I am a putz
*12:26:45* Lemming: Aside from roots and tendrils, what 'body parts'
would seaweed have?
*12:27:05* Allana: I'm not sure that seaweed is that body-orientated
*12:27:23* Lemming grins.
*12:27:43* Lemming: Yeah, but I'm making sapient seaweed, so it has to
have some sort of corpse
*12:27:48* Cerisa: More like a really long leaf...
*12:27:50* Nevvyn: Fronds?
*12:28:24* Lemming: Fronds are kind of the same as tendrils, really.
*12:28:32* Nevvyn: Pah
*12:30:46* Presto: nah, tendrils would be trailing tentacle thingies,
whereas fronds are more leafy. :)
*12:31:19* Cerisa: If it's sapient seaweed, why not give it tentacles?
:)
*12:31:23* Presto: I read to the end of the damn thread
*12:31:27* Nevvyn: cre Or hands...
*12:31:31* Nevvyn grins...
*12:31:39* Nevvyn: So what was the mistake you were pointing out
*12:31:41* Lemming: Tentacles seem a little too... fishy. :)
*12:32:13* Lemming: Fronds might be ok, though. I guess it could hit
people with them
*12:32:16* Aeson: or fins?
(cre) Lyfe: petals?
(cre) Nevvyn: Seaweed petals?
(cre) Lyfe nods.
(cre) Nevvyn: Are you going to be able to fry it and have crispy
seaweed?
(cre) Aeson likes the idea of fins.
(cre) Lemming: Petals? Petals?! This is supposed to be a man-killing
vicious beast of a plant! Petals! :P
(cre) Nevvyn: What are they going to be wearing?
(cre) Nevvyn: Razor sharp petals then.
(cre) Lyfe: petals would make it pretty, no?
(cre) Aeson: If wood has feet, wouldn't seaweed ahve fins?
(cre) Lyfe: red ones... red is a vicious color..
(cre) Lemming: Pretty! Pah! :P
(cre) Nevvyn: Deceptively pretty indeed.
(cre) Cerisa: Ah, see, that would make it more Evil :)
(cre) Lyfe: kinda like poisonous dart frogs
(cre) Lemming: It's going to be a muddy greeny-brown colour, not red.
:P
(cre) Nevvyn: Nono.. It'd still have fee.. Just strapon fin things for
swimming,
(cre) Lyfe: ah boogers... i think aeson's got something there...
with the fins
(cre) Aeson cheers that he has something!
(cre) Lemming: Fins? It's rooted to the ground! :P
(cre) Lyfe: so's a tree
(cre) Nevvyn: So the fins double up as roots then.
(cre) Nevvyn: Special adaptation to life in the water see.
(cre) Lyfe: er.. oh yeah
(cre) Lemming: Bah, you lot don't take me seriously. :P
(cre) Nevvyn: Along with the gills.
(cre) Nevvyn: And the razor sharp teeth...
(cre) Aeson: Plants have gills?
(cre) Presto: bladders
(cre) Aeson: and mouths?
(cre) Lyfe: but trees are on land... seaweeds under water...
(cre) Aeson: and bladders?
(cre) Nevvyn: Bladders to you too!
(cre) Lemming: I thought about bladders, but how many bladders should
it have?
(cre) Lyfe: just one should do..
(cre) Lemming: I don't want to go giving it too many bladders...
(cre) Nevvyn: Don't you want it to piss all over everyone?
(cre) Allana: bladder wrack has bladders of air along each
frond/tendril
(cre) Presto: oh, you can't have too many bladders, that's my motto
(cre) Allana: bladder wrack being stinky black seaweed
(cre) Lemming: So if there were 20 tendrils, how many bladders would
it have?
(cre) Nevvyn: So, this is a vicious, man eating (with one tooth) red,
bladdered piece of fin clad seaweed with extra special sauce?
(cre) Lyfe: wait, are we talking about fish kinda bladders? or
piss kinda bladders?
(cre) Nevvyn: Seaweed kinda bladderes.
(cre) Lyfe: sapient or normal?
(cre) Allana: I have no idea wot lemming is talking about, but I'm
thinkng bladders of air :P
(cre) Lemming: Bladders of air! Yeah!
(cre) Lyfe: you'd only need one of those...
(cre) Lemming: But how many? One per tendril?
(cre) Lyfe: one big one
(cre) Nevvyn: No no... Bladders of air would put too much strain ont
he roots, pending the depth of water of course.
(cre) Presto: if a seaweed leaves New York, traveling west at 30 miles
per hour, and Nevvyn puts on his fins and leaves Loas Angeles 3
hours later heading east at 35 miles per hour, how many bladders
does the sewaeed have at 2:00
(cre) Allana: Shocking lack of information on seaweed on the web
(cre) Nevvyn: IS that including or excluding friction Presto?
(cre) Presto: in vaccuum
(cre) Nevvyn tasks Allana to rectify this horrendous wrongdoing.
(cre) Nevvyn: Go! Write webpages about seaweed!
(cre) Lyfe: ooh... and can he go underground?
(cre) Aeson: How do you use fins in a vacuum?
(cre) Allana delegates to Nevvyn
(cre) Nevvyn: Wouldn't the bladders explode in a seaweed?
(cre) Nevvyn: Er.. vacume?
(cre) Lyfe scratches an ear.
(cre) Nevvyn casually points out that delagating to him would cause a
loop whereby he delegates back.. Pick someone else.
(cre) Lemming adds 3 bladders per tendril, making for a total of 60
bladders.
(cre) Nevvyn: IT's your task! You do it! or I'm telling mom, as and
when I survive this vacum thing.
(cre) Aeson accuses Lemming of playing god.
(cre) Lyfe counts on his fingers.
(cre) Lemming accuses Aeson of not grovelling sufficiently.
(cre) Lyfe: 20 tendrils?
(cre) Lemming grins
(cre) Nevvyn lends Lyfe a few extra.
(cre) Lemming: 20 tendrils. :)
(cre) Nevvyn: Your godlike powers cannot hurt me! My wings are like a
shield of steel!
(cre) Lyfe thanks the pie eater profoundly.
(cre) Presto oxidizes Nevvyn's wings
(cre) Cerisa: Those are fins, Nevvyn :)
(cre) Lemming gets the blowtorch
(cre) Aeson tells Io about Lemming's false godhood.
(cre) Lyfe: where've i heard that before, nevvyn?
(cre) Nevvyn: Batfink ;P
(cre) Lemming is summarily smited... smitten, smit... buggerit
(cre) Nevvyn: They are fins? Well... Use these fins to count then
Lyfe.
(cre) Lyfe scratches his eye curiously.
(cre) Aeson: Woo, i wonder what girl has Lemming smitten?
(cre) Nevvyn: And who are you smitten with then Lemming?
(cre) Nevvyn: And fetches his spare pare of oxidation proof wings.
(cre) Presto: titanium?
(cre) Lemming: Io, of course. I'm attracted to power.
(cre) Aeson: A oxidation proof winged finned seaweed liaison?
(cre) Nevvyn: Is that proofagainst oxidation?
(cre) Allana: Hmm. Laurana seaweed in New Zealand apparently
(cre) Presto: this "Everlasting Gobstopper" isn't
(cre) Cerisa: You forgot the bladders, Aeson
(cre) Lyfe looks at Presto.
(cre) Nevvyn: Okay.. *coughs*
(cre) Aeson: Okay . .a multi-bladdered oxidation proof winged finned
seaweed liaison?
(cre) Nevvyn: Your godlike powers cannot harm me!! MY wings are like a
shielf of oxidisation proof titanium wings!
(cre) Presto is looked at
(cre) Lemming: A shelf won't do much to protect you...
(cre) Nevvyn looks at Lyfe looking at Presto.
(cre) Presto: You can't hurt me! I'm wearing magic armarrrrrrgggh!
(cre) Nevvyn: Come here and say that, I'll it ya with a shelf and
we'll see if it doesn't protect me.
(cre) Aeson: Wot's a magic your wife's a big hippo?
(cre) Lyfe: you've no clue, lemming... why once, i was being
mugged in some backstreet somewheres, and a shelf with
a cape popped out with a knife and stabbed me.
(cre) Lemming: I've got shelf proof armour on.
(cre) Nevvyn: Indeed.. Whats Green and hard? a frog with a flickknife.
(cre) Aeson throws a bookcase at Lemming.
(cre) Nevvyn: You see a lot of them near feltham ...
(cre) Lyfe inevitably gets hit by the bookcase.
(cre) Nevvyn coughs his guts up.. again.. Sausages anyone?
(cre) Lemming: Your shelves cannot harm me. Strike me down with a
bookcase and I will become more heavy than you can possibly
imagine.
(cre) Presto: "Could you describe the assailant?" "Well, he was
finished in pine, with brass hinges."
(cre) Aeson throws a walk-in closet at Lemming.
(cre) Lemming: No, not the closet! Aiiiiiiiiiee...
(cre) Nevvyn: Can you remember any distinguishing features? Yes, he
had a lovely set of brass handles.
(cre) Aeson: "Oh, i think he had a full set of Anne McCaffery books
on the second shelf"
(cre) Presto: and a knothole on the third shelf
(cre) Nevvyn: IT all happened so quickly, I woooden be so sure about
the description.
(cre) Lemming: His knotholes board into me...
(cre) Dragonkin: He was a real pine in the ash, too...
(cre) Presto: ack!
(cre) Lemming: He wanted all my money - so shelfish.
(cre) Nevvyn: IT was terrible, I think he was of polished decent.
(cre) Arikiel giggles at DK
(cre) Presto jumps up and down on everyone.
(cre) Lyfe can't... stop... laughing.
(cre) Nevvyn: The way he looked at me, and calmly drawed his knfe.
(cre) Lemming: I tried to put the boot in but he already had four
pairs of Doc Martens.
(cre) Nevvyn: Did anyone else cedar wholet thing?
(cre) Lemming: Then he hit me on the head, and before I knew what had
happened he'd varnished.
(cre) Nevvyn: Well.. it looks like and open and closet case.
(cre) Nevvyn: They're getting bad now aren't they...
(cre) Presto: I'm leaving. :-b
(cre) Lemming: Same as ever, I thought :)
(cre) Lyfe wipes a tentative tear from his eye.
(cre) Nevvyn: Ve have found zee presto's veek spot.
(cre) Nevvyn: Do you know, not one of the last ten puns we've done
made me laugh?
(cre) Lemming: I think Presto's just getting board with the whole
thing. :)
(cre) Nevvyn: Would you believe it?
(cre) Nevvyn: No pun in ten did.
(cre) Lyfe now feels stupid.
----[Very Long Pause]----
(cre) Allana waves some seaweed