| He's big and he plays football and... | Casey: I
swear. He's big and he plays football and he'll kick the SHIT out
of you!
Voice: I'm getting scared, |
| Who's there? Who's there? | Casey: ahhhhh
Who's there? Who's there? I'm calling the police!
(Phone rings again) Voice: You should never say "Who's there? "Don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish. You might as well come out and investigate a strange noise or somethin'. |
| You never told me your name. | Killer:
You never told me your name.
Casey: Why do you want to know my name? Killer: Cause I wanna know who I'm looking at. |
| To see what your insides look like | Casey: Listen,
I am two seconds away from calling the police.
Voice: They'd never make it in time were out in the middle of nowhere. Casey: What do you want? Voice: To see what you're insides look like. |
| Freddy Kruegar | Voice: Guess.
Casey: Um..Nightmare on Elm Street. Voice: Is that the one with the guy that has knives for fingers? Casey: Yeah, Freddy Kruger. Voice: Freddy, that's right. I like that movie. It was scary. Casey: Well, The first one was but, the rest sucked. |
| Name the killer in Friday the Thirteenth | Voice: Name
the killer in Friday the 13th?
Casey: Jason! Jason! Jason! Voice: I'm sorry that's the wrong answer. |
| I'm afraid poor Steve is OUT! | Voice: Lucky for you there is a bonus round. But, poor Steve, I am afraid he's out! |
| Liver alone! | Stu: She's getting mad alright?You better liver alone. Liver alone! Liv - - Ow! Liver. Liver. It was a joke! |
| Do you like to hunt? | Stu: Hey
did they ask if you liked to hunt?
Billy: Yeah, they did. Did they ask you? Tatum: Why would they ask if you liked to hunt? Randy: Cause they're bodies were gutted. Billy: Thank you, Randy. |
| It's called tact, you fuckrag! | Stu: Hey
did they ask if you liked to hunt?
Billy: Yeah, they did. Did they ask you? Tatum: Why would they ask if you liked to hunt? Randy: Cause they're bodies were gutted. Billy: Thank you, Randy. |
| Didn't you used to date Casey? | Sid: Stu,
didn't you use to date Casey?
Stu: Yeah for like 2 seconds. Randy: Before she dumped you for Steve? Tatum: I thought you dumped her for me! Stu: I did, he's full of shit! Randy: And are the police aware that you dated the victim? Stu: Hey what are you saying? That...that I killed her? Randy: It would certainly improve your high school Q. |
| If you get it right, you die! | Stu: It's
a fun game, Sidney. See we ask you a question you get it wrong bookah you
die.
Billy: You get it right you die! |
| She looked dead, man, still does. | Billy: Man,
I thought she was dead!
Stu: She looked dead man! She still does! |
| It's a SCREAM baby! | Stu: It's a SCREAM baby! |
| I'll be right back! | Randy: #3
never ever under any circumstances do you ever say "I'll be right back"
cause you won't be back.
Stu: I'm getting another beer you want one? Randy: Yeah sure. Stu: "I'll be right back!" |
| As if. That's all I'm saying. As if. | Randy: What's
leatherface doing here?
Stu: Cute, He came to make up. Randy: There goes my chance with Sid. Damn it. Stu: As if, that's all I'm going to say, as if. Randy: Oh really Alicia? |
| Don't forget. Stay to the side and don't go too deep. | Billy: Don't
forget go to the side and don't go to deep.
Stu: Okay I'll remember. Billy: Ahh! Fuck! Fuck! God damn Stu! Stu: Sorry Billy I guess I got a little too zealous huh? Billy: Give me the knife. Stu: No. Billy: Give me the knife! |
| Now your're no longer a virgin! | Stu: That's right you gave it up. Your no longer a virgin Ooh! I said "virgin" Whoops!! Now you got to die, those are the rules. |
| Houston, we have a problem! | Stu: Um
uh - - Houston we have a problem here.
Billy: What? Stu: The gun man, the gun I put it right here and it's not here. Billy: Where the fuck is it? Gale: Right here asshole. |
| Suprise Sidney! | Stu: Suprise Sidney! |
| I remembered the safety that time ya' ...... | Gale: Guess I remembered the safety that time you bastard! |
| You hit me with the phone! | Stu: Fuck! Oh you fucker you hit me with the phone dick! |
| We've gotta get the F*** outta here! | Randy: SIDNEY! SIDNEY! Jesus, we got to get the fuck out of here. |
| Door number 3! | Stu: ATTENTION oh..look what we have behind door #3, Sidney. |
| My turn! | Billy:
(The recorder didn't record the frist sentence here) Ready?
Stu: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, baby, Right, get it up, yeah, baby, get it up, hit it, good one man! Jesus! Oh shit, my turn! |
| We're gonna play a little game | (The beginning
of this is not in my script!!!!)
Stu: Did you really call the police? Sidney: You bet your sorry ass I did. Stu: My mom and dad are going to be so mad at me. |
| It was fun! | Stu: Watch a few movies, take a few notes, It was fun! |
| Don't you blame the movies Sid! | Billy: Sid,
don't blame the movies. The movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos
more creative.
Stu: Oh stop it Billy, would you? All right? I can't take it anymore. I'm feeling a little woozy here! Billy: All right, All right, get the gun and I'll untie pops. Okay? |
| Everybody's gotta die but us! | Stu: You see Sid! Everybody dies but us. Everybody dies but us. We get to carry on and plan the sequel. Cause let's face it baby, cause these days you gotta have a sequel. |
| Hello Sidney! | (Phone rings)
Sidney: Tatum, just get in the car. Voice: Hello Sidney. |
| So, where are you? | Killer:
The question isn't who am I, the question is where am I.
Sid: So..so...where are you? Killler: Your front porch. |
| Royally f***ed up | Girl #1(Cheerleader): And it fucked her up royally. Think about it her mothers death left her disturbed and hostile in a cruel and inhumane world. She's delusion. Where's God etc. She's completely suicidal. One day she snaps wants to kill herself but, finds out that teen suicide is out this year and homicide is a more healthier, therapeutic expression. |
| Are you alone in the house? | Voice: Are
you alone in the house?
Sidney: Randy, That's so unoriginal I'm so disappointed in you. Voice: Maybe because I'm not Randy. |
| My name isn't Jesus! | Gale: Jesus,
the camera hurry.
Kenny: My name isn't Jesus. |
| Do you think Sid would go out with me? | Randy: Now
that Billy tried to mutilate her.....do you think Sid would go out with
me?
Stu: AHHAH!!! Hehahe....no I don't at all...no. |
| Bitch Goddess! | Gale: Move
it Kenny.
Kenny: They're not just letting anybody in. Gale: I'm not just anyone. Kenny: Bitch Goddess. |
| Please don't kill me Mr. Ghostface! | Tatum: (Once again, the first couple of sentences were not recorded) Oh, you wanna play psycho killer? Can I be the helpless victim? Okay let's see, On no Mr. Ghostface don't kill me I want to be in the sequel |
| He's my superior! | Dewey: That
was my superior.
Tatum: Janitors are your superior. |
| BAM! B**** went down! | Tatum: God I loved it "I'll send you a copy" BAM bitch went down! "I'll send you a copy" BAM Sid Super Bitch! You are so cool! |
| Can we go now? | Tatum: Hey
Dewey can we go yet?
Dewey: Just a minute. Tatum: God damm it Dewey. Dewey: What did mama tell you? When I wear this badge you treat me as a man of the law. Tatum: I'm sorry Deputy-Dewey-Boy but, we are ready to go now ok? Police Officers: Whoa! |
| EVERYBODY'S A SUSPECT!!! | Randy: There's a formula to it....A VERY SIMPLE FORMULA!!! EVERYBODY'S A SUSPECT! |
| Hello Sid | Voice:
Hello Sid
(This is good for when you start up a program or your computer. Gives you a suprise) |
| Oh, so you wanna play psycho killer? | Tatum:
Oh, so you want to play psycho killer?
(Another nice little short clip) |