And when you think of Canadians you generally tend to think of something like this:

So how could the two be related?

This is a subject that is one that Andrew and I both probably have a lot to speak about. Maybe Andrew will actually have more to say than me because he seems to embrace the Canadian way of life more than I do. Let’s find out…

Evil: (As defined by the Lexicon Webster’s Dictionary) Morally wrong; immoral; sinful; wicked; bad; harmful; due to bad character or conduct.

To say that Canadians are Evil, I must attempt to show you how Canadians fit that definition. Well, I’ll start at the beginning.

Since before I can remember, Hockey has become a pretty widely played and watched sport. It’s annual championship, The Stanley Cup, has gathered higher ratings that Soccer and Gymnastics combined. And who are some of the best players in the National Hockey League right now? Joe Sakic, Brendan Shanahan, Steve Yzerman, Michael Peca, Joe Nieuwendyk, Eric Lindros, Owen Nolan, Chris Pronger, Scott Niedermayer, Adam Foote, Rob Blake

And of course, we can’t forget about arguably the best Hockey player of all-time, Wayne Gretzky.

And guess what they are?

CANADIAN!
And look at some of the names of Hockey’s teams: The Montreal Canadians, Toronto Maple Leafs, Vancouver Canucks, etc…and while we are on teams, they also have the Montreal Expos and Toronto Blue Jays in baseball and the Toronto Raptors in basketball. That’s a lot of teams for a country that didn’t invent any of those sports. Mexico doesn’t have any teams. And why is that? (Athletic Ability may be some aspect, but that’s a different story…) Because they can’t afford to be EVIL(bad) like Canada anymore because they wasted all their time being EVIL(immoral) in disputes with the U.S. over land and other retarded stuff. Canada has the right to be EVIL (morally wrong) and Pay to have teams in major sports because they didn’t do anything EVIL(bad) to the U.S. before. So in one aspect, Canadians have the right to be EVIL(bad) and should accept that they are that way.

Another instance of why Canadians are EVIL(bad character or conduct) can be best proved with the pop songstress Celine Dion. She scored her biggest hit with “My Heart Will Go On”, a song off the soundtrack to the movie Titanic, based on an AMERICAN cruise-liner that sunk. How can a CANADIAN best portray the love between two AMERICANS in love? Beats the hell outta me, but over a million people bought into that crap and made Celine, and that song, a hit.

But wait, Celine, “I’m a Closet Canadian” Dion’s dominance of “AMERICAN music doesn’t end there. (And by closet Canadian, I don’t mean she’s a lesbian, although…who knows for sure?) Everyone in the world by now has at least heard of the September 11th, 2001 tragedy. (The home page to this site is a tribute.) Well good old Celine thinks that she’ll get everyone into the American Spirit again after the tragedy with a song. (No, not “Blame Canada”) More like the old patriotic song, “God Bless America.” She AGAIN scores a #1 hit with something that has to do with AMERICA. Why can’t she sing, “God Bless Canada”? Or the Canadian national anthem? Because she’s EVIL(wicked) and is just in it for the money, and not because she loves America and wants god to bless it. She just knows that most Americans are suckers and will buy into that crap.

Instance number three, if you are a wrestling fan, you more than likely know the names of some of the really great wrestlers of the past and present. Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, and Lance Storm just to name a few. The thing these wrestlers have in common? I bet you can tell me. Yep, they are CANADIAN. How’d you guess? Combined, these wrestlers have held the world title in the WWF and the WCW and the Intercontinental and US titles, tag teams titles in both feds and ECW and numerous other titles and events. Some people will counter that with the fact that a bunch of American wrestlers have done the same feats. All have to say to that is…look it’s Pamela Lee Nude Here.

For all the instances afore mentioned, I have shown that Canadians are EVIL in almost every definition of the word. And for some people that may be a wake-up call. For others, just some BS conspiracy meant to make Canadians mad. And for the rest of us, a way to share our hatred of Celine Dion…

-Matt

Here's what Andrew has to say-I like Canada.

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