This pathetic attempt of getting my site plugged in the magazine Electronic Gaming Monthly (I actually sent this 'conspiracy' to EGM in an email) will forever be a part of this site...

After reading a letter in issue #145 of Electronic Gaming Monthly (the top video game magazine in the world), it has come to my attention that there are more vampire video games than werewolf video games. Why? Why aren't there more werewolf games? This is ludicrous. What is wrong with our lupine friends? What makes vampires so much better than them? Let's think about it. Werewolves have lotsa big razor sharp teeth. Vampires have two. Werewolves are wolves. Vampires are bats. See? A werewolf has a clear advantage over a vampire. Yet, there are more vampire games than werewolf games. Oh sure, vampires may get more women than werewolves, but werewolves...um...ok, bad example. But the point is, there are more vampire video games than werewolf video games. Wouldn't it be much more fun to play as a werewolf? I mean, you'd be able to run around really fast, tear things apart, howl, you know, do cool stuff, while vampires fly around and bite people. That's just lame. A vampire tries to scare you by saying "I vaaaant to suuuuck your blooooood!" A werewolf doesn't need a stupid catchphrase like that. A werewolf's smart. He just goes up to a person and tears that person apart and maybe eats that person or something. He doesn't tell his victims about his plans. Telling your victims what you're going to do is something that old supervillians used to do, and you don't see many of them around anymore, do you? Well, after spending hours upon hours tirelessly researching this topic for the good of werewolves everywhere, research furthered by the fact that I now work for the FBI in their X-Files division (don't believe me? Check out my id card conveniently located at http://theloneconspirators.cjb.net/fbismall.jpg), I've finally come to this shocking conclusion. It's dead obvious that there is something going on. Someone - or something - is out to ruin the lives of werewolves everywhere. It's a conspiracy, I tell you! Werewolves haven't done a thing wrong, all they do is howl at the moon and entertain us in movies, but still, there are more vampire games than werewolf games. It's just so unfair! This is a blatant display of racial discrimination! Is it legal to discriminate against someone because of their religion? NO! Is it legal to discriminate against someone because of the gender? NO! Is it legal tp discriminate against someone because of their sexual preference? NO! Then WHY ARE THERE MORE VAMPIRE VIDEO GAMES THAN WEREWOLF VIDEO GAMES? It's because the government hates werewolves. That's right. All the evidence points towards that. Whenever someone gets cheated or something, they make laws to prevent that from happening, but when a poor, innocent, defenseless werewolf doesn't get his video game made, what do they do? They don't do anything! They let the discriminating continue! And why do they hate werewolves so much? I don't know, but I don't like it! I don't like it one bit! I'm sick and tired of seeing this type of discrimination against poor innocent defenseless werewolves! I'm sick and tired of living in a country that promises freedom but doesn't allow more werewolf video games to be made! I'm tired of being ruled by a government so corrupt that it suppresses it's own people! It's time to fight the good fight and demand that our rights be given back to us! We can't just sit back and let the government push us around anymore. They thought they were so smart, so bad, so ingenious that no one would ever figure them out, but boy were they wrong! They forgot about a certain conspiracy theorist from Texas, and boy, is it going to cost them big time! Listen up, Lieberman! I've exposed your little scandle, and it's only a matter of time before the masses fight back and this country regains the prestige that it once had! It's time! It's time my fellow werewolves! It's time to rise forth and reclaim our rightful throne! You haven't heard the last of me yet, Joseph Lieberman! Stupid democrats.

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