Garden Tidbits
Jeanne W. Price
Blacksburg, Virginia
A garden is but a container in which to arrange and exhibit a collection of happiness, love, prayer, thoughts and growing beauty.
A garden tour is the converging of masterminds.
Wanted: A pair of flat-heeled walking shows that will pad my paths rather than plow them up.
An irisarian is a good grower of irises that has more friends from May until September when divisions and plantings are made.
A garden critic is a garden guest who has never visited a commercial garden but expects a cut-rate sale to be going on in yours.
New members are those who desire to "know all about irises in one easy lesson", while a chapter at a time will soon compile a book whose contents will be absorbed, practiced, and appreciated.
A drop out is a member who has not been properly taught the fundamentals of growing irises by the older and more experienced members.
A speaker's downfall is making the same speech over and over again in his own home town.
Divisions of an iris catalogue are: WANTS -- MUST HAVES -- CAN'T AFFORDS.
Women growers would rather be right than reasonable.
Fertilizer savings can be made by purchasing a higher nutrient formula and applying less of it.
Do you cultivate your irises from a "down to your knees position". If so, sew pockets on your blue jeans and then insert sponges into them for greater comfort.
An iris auction is the gathering place for the tight-fisted who become liberal at the offering of a bargain.
Slides are something "snuck" into an iris program by a camera fiend when the speaker's back is turned.
A green thumb is a dirty thumb.
A wishful thinker is a catalogue thinker.
Wouldn't it be nice if subscriptions were sold for iris catalogues for maybe a three to five year period?
A region is no stronger than its members.
Any rampant plant that "takes the place" by spreading far and wide may be held within bounds cheaply and easily. Obtain gallon containers from restaurants, hospitals, or any other place where canned goods are purchased in large containers. Remove the top and bottom and sink the open cylinder into the soil to the soil level. Fill with soil and plant desired plant in the center.
A weed is no more than a flower in disguise, but they are never advertised for sale.
Hospitality begins with the sight of another person, and a smile says the first word.
An iris expert is a person and grower who has garnered knowledge through study, judging schools, read every book written on them, grown irises in every State of the Union, conquered every prevailing weather condition, every disease, has had no losses, no weeds and can judge them sight unseen.....but he has a barn filled with increases that cannot be disposed of.
Pity the poor irises that get pinched just to see if they "have substance". Better still, try it on your friends.
Why don't hybridizers "dub" irises with names that will fit on a 3" label?
An avid iris grower is one who plants here husband's pay check in the garden before he receives it.
Guest irises should be treated as a guest in your home, even though you may have to go to the attic to bring out the red carpet.
When exhibiting specimens add a teaspoon of granulated sugar to the water in the container, stir it well until it dissolves. Plain corn syrup will also work in the same manner (one teaspoon) to extend the life of the blossom by increasing the substance.
Wanted: A weatherman who knows when your garden has had enough rain to assure an excellent bloom season. No applications accepted from applicants who think all gardeners should have webbed feet.
Generally speaking, if two first cousins marry, the risk of producing idiots and high-strung geniuses may result within the third generation of offspring.....could this be applicable to rises that often show up in the test gardens? The cells and genes have to split sooner or later!
AIS robins fly from here to yon, but often stop long enough to nest and lay eggs....then move on to other areas after the family is raised....or did you find the robin while Spring cleaning after it had flow in last December?
A bit of wit from day to day will keep the sorrows away.
(Reprinted from SSIS Iris News, May 1973)