This web site does
not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, the team, my
company, my
friends, my alter ego, or my cats; all rights reserved; you may
distribute links to
this web site freely but you may not make a profit from it; terms are
subject to change without notice; this web site has not been safety
tested for children under the age of 3; illustrations are slightly
enlarged to show detail; intended solely for the private use of our
audience; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is
unintentional and purely coincidental; do not remove this disclaimer
under penalty of law; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not
bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; no substitutions allowed; for a
limited time
only; this web site is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise
restricted; caveat emptor; prices may vary in Alaska, Hawaii, and
Puerto Rico; web site is provided "as is" without any warranties;
reader assumes full responsibility; past performance does not predict
future results and people can and do lose money; an equal opportunity
web site; no shoes, no shirt, no web site; do not drive or operate
machinery while viewing this web site; quantities are limited while
supplies last; if any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read
them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your
own risk; parental advisory - explicit lyrics; text may contain
explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental
guidance is advised; keep away from sunlight; keep away from pets and
small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase
necessary; all sales are final; you need not be
present to win; some assembly required;
batteries not included; instructions are included; action figures sold
separately; your mileage may
vary; do not remove
tag under penalty of law; no preservatives
added; slippery when wet; safety goggles
may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not read if
safety seal is broken; call before you dig; not liable for damages
arising from use or misuse; for external use only; if rash, irritation,
redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading; read only with
proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry
place; keep away from open flames; avoid contact with eyes and skin and
avoid inhaling fumes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120
degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source;
smoking this web site could be hazardous to your health; viewing by
pregnant women may result in fetal injury; no salt, MSG, artificial
color or flavoring added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if
symptoms persist, consult a physician; may cause drowsiness, alcohol
may intensify this effect; use caution when operating a car or
dangerous machinery; possible penalties for early withdrawal; offer
valid only at participating sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies;
allow four to six weeks for delivery; must be 18 to read; objects in
mirror are closer than they appear; disclaimer does not cover misuse,
accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption,
earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from
improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized
reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial
numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom
vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and
incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water,
motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof,
broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can
include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel,
lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and
Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.); other restrictions may apply;
contest ends 12-31-2009; contents measured by weight only, contents may
settle in transit; may cause random outbursts of extreme violence,
epileptic seizures, or whatever; actual web site may differ from
illustration on box.
