5th Sunday of Lent
The Mystery of Prayer and the Methods of Prayer
When a former Presiding Bishop, John Hines, was living in Houston, one weekend he and his wife entertained the Bishop of Johannesburg and his spouse, Bishop and Mrs. Ambrose Reeves. They decided that on Saturday they would introduce them to the American custom of football. Bishop and Mrs. Hines took Bishop and Mrs. Reeves to a Rice University football game. On this particular Saturday, Rice University was playing Texas Christian University. T.C. U. had a slight edge on the scoreboard and was quite literally pushing Rice University all over the field. Bishop and Mrs. Hines realized early on that it would be too formidable a task to explain American football to people who had never seen an American football game. So they were content just to sit back and answer the questions that Bishop and Mrs. Reeves might have. Each time Texas Christian University would come close to scoring against Rice, all of the Rice freshmen were compelled to come out of the stands, go to the threatened end zone, and there kneel before the school’s mascot, a great stuffed owl. There they were to pray that Texas Christian University would not score against them. Well, this most certainly got Mrs. Reeves and the Bishop’s attention. So Mrs. Reeves asked Mrs. Hines, “What on earth are they doing?” Mrs. Hines responded, “Oh, they’re praying to their owl that he will prevent Texas Christian University from scoring against them.” To which Mrs. Reeves exclaimed, “Oh my goodness. The Christians are winning and they’re not even praying.”
To even the most casual observer it would appear that on occasion the people who are not praying in this world are the ones who are doing the winning. To the trained observer, however, one who is trained in prayer and is knowledgable of the Bible, this appearance is just that, an appearance. One trained in prayer sees a reality beyond mere appearances because that person has begun to better understand the mystery of prayer.
That is what this five part sermon series has been dealing with “The Mystery of Prayer.” We have talked about the Mystery of Prayer and the Nature of God, the Mystery of Answered Prayer, the Mystery of Unanswered Prayer, and the Mystery of Prayer and the Will of God (all of which are available at our website or by request). The final talk in our series is entitled, “The Mystery of Prayer and the Methods of Prayer.”
This talk is more of a focus on the “How tos” of prayer. We want to know “How do I pray?”
One day Jesus’ followers noticed he had left the group to pray. When he finished and rejoined the group, only one disciple had the courage to say what the rest of them were thinking: “Master, would you teach us to pray?”
Pray like what? What had they seen that prompted them to want to emulate how he was praying? Was it the language he used? Do you think he was using complicated theological terms? Do you think he was being dramatic and doing things with his arms or legs, and they wanted to be like that? Were there any special effects that prompted their curiosity?
I don’t think so. I think they could sense the depth of spiritual community Jesus was experiencing with the heavenly Father. They saw a kind of fellowship as Jesus knelt to pray. They said, “I want that.”
I went to a pastor’s prayer retreat in Oregon a few years ago. It happened to be all men who gathered at the beach for three days of prayer and reflection. During one of the sessions a pastor began to describe his love for his wife and how he calls her everyday to tell her how much he loves her. It made me and the other guys think, that’s what I want to do. I want to talk to want to talk to my wife. I want to call home. After the session we headed out to make our calls.
Jesus’ followers saw something in the way Jesus related to his Father, and they were humble enough to say, “Teach us to pray like that.”
I have noticed over the years that quite a few Christ-followers were confiding in me that, to their shame, they don’t pray like they had prayed earlier in their lives.
One guy described it this way: “When I was a new believer, the thought of talking with the God of the universe, the thought of him listening to me, responding to my cares and concerns, was so overwhelming I could barely take it in. I prayed all the time when I first discovered I could. I prayed when I got up. I prayed on my way to work. I prayed when I sat at my desk. I prayed at lunch. I prayed with my kids at dinner. I prayed with my kids when I put them to bed. I was a praying monster. It brought me such joy. God was answering my prayers. My life was changing, and I could see others’ lives changing. Then, I don’t know what happened. The whole deal just cooled off. I don’t pray much any more.”
He was still a Christian and active in his church, but he had given up on prayer.
I said to him, “Almost every follower of Jesus Christ experiences exactly what you’ve described. I have.”
When I look back over the course of my spiritual life, I see seasons in which I prayed eagerly and often, filled with joy and anticipation. Supernatural things happened in and around my life and the lives of those people for whom I prayed. Then for some unknown reason, my prayer life would begin a mysterious descent, until I almost gave up on praying. I’d still pray at meals and at church functions, but not a lot more than that.
Then something would happen that would catalyze my prayer life, the activity of God would flood into my life again, and I would pray like crazy for a time. Then the fade would begin again.
Can any of you relate to the rhythm of prayer I’m talking about? Why do people stop praying?
First, I think people stop praying or at least start to fade when the seas of life calm. It’s human nature. When the storms are raging, and the waves are breaking over the deck, everyone on board is praying like crazy. When the phone call comes in the middle of the night, when the boss warns you that your job is up for grabs, when the doctor says it doesn’t look good, when your spouse says someone else is starting to look good, we pray. Almost all of us pray, fervently, repeatedly, hopefully, if not desperately.
Then when the storm passes and the seas settle down and God proves himself faithful one more time, a big part of our motivation for fervent prayer subsides. And the great prayer fade begins.
Understandably, this affects the heart of God. He is not beyond the kind of feelings that a parent experiences, like, for example, there was a time when I first started college the only time I called home is when I was running out of money. My Dad commented on that one time. I had not realized how much that hurt him. God’s not beyond feeling used by his children.
In the Old Testament, God traces his kindness to the children of Israel. He says, “Every time you got in a jam and you prayed for divine intervention, every time you needed protection and guidance and you pleaded for eleventh-hour rescues, I came through. Then after the storm passed, you remembered me no more. You don’t talk to me much once the storms pass.”
How do we keep this thing from happening in our lives? Most of us don’t want it to happen that way. The only way I know to keep a big fade from happening is by establishing a regular pattern of praying that is not contingent upon the ups and downs of my life.
Jesus said in Matthew 6, “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to the Father, who is unseen…Then your Father…will reward you. Avoid vain repetitions.”
When Jesus was teaching on this way of praying, he was making some points for us to ponder. First, he was saying establish a time of praying. He says when you pray, not if you pray. He’s asking us who claim to be his followers to arrive at a daily rhythm for a sequestered time of prayer. Be it early morning, midday, late at night, late afternoon, it doesn’t matter. It might change over the course of your life.
Jesus exhorts us to establish a place. Choose a spot that can become a refuge or a sanctuary for your prayer time, a place that affords you sufficient comfort and privacy, a place that over time you begin to think of as a holy place for your prayers.
One guy I heard about prays on a Northwestern commuter train five days a week. He prays from the time he gets on the train until he arrives downtown. He says the seat of the Northwestern commuter train is like a holy place for him.
Jesus tells us to avoid vain repetitions. The third piece of advice if you’re trying to establish this consistency in prayer is to pour your heart out. Don’t just go through mechanical motions. Don’t get in a formula that can become repetitive and autopilot-like. This is especially true if you use a liturgical form of prayer like the Offices of Morning and Evening Prayer in the Prayer Book. Pray with your heart and your mind in the Spirit.
Jesus says if you’re struggling with something, tell God. If you’re being tempted, don’t hide it. Tell him. If you’re defeated, tell him. If you’re feeling shallow and distracted, tell him. If you’re feeling lonely and discouraged, tell him.
Some of us do this verbally. We whisper our prayers to God in those private places. Some write out prayers to God because it helps to stay in focus. Some of us use lists. Some of us read psalms of praise to God from our Bibles. Some of us put on worship tapes and sing along with them.
The main thing is that you integrate into your daily life, just like you would eat or sleep or exercise, a time and a place and a genuine style of praying, so that when you’re done and you go about your day, you can say, “I just met with God. I talked with him. I listened to him, and we connected on a soul level.”
If you do that on a consistent basis, you’re likely to take the big swings out of your prayer life.
Once you establish a time and place to pray, the method of prayer still remains a bit of a mystery for some. May I suggest to you that there is no right or wrong method to use in prayer? The important thing is to use something that works for you.
One of the things that the Bible says is that you don’t need to use a certain posture or “preacher voice” to pray. You can sit, kneel, stand, raise your hands, lie down on your bed, whatever the Lord might lead you to do. You can pray in a normal tone of voice or you can pray silently. You can use normal language or you can use prayer book or King James language. You can write your prayers, you can use prayer lists, you can use the Daily Office in the Prayer Book, you can devise your own prayer session. The important thing is to do something. I use a variety of methods when I pray. Sometimes I read the Bible and pray related to what I read. Sometimes I use the Daily Office (which, by the way, you can do on line by visiting the link on our website). Sometimes I write out my prayers. Sometimes I use a prayer list as a catalyst for prayer. Most often I use what I would call a “Prayer Wheel”. I will give you a copy of this prayer wheel when you leave today. Don’t feel like you always have to use one method of praying. Variety can sometimes bring new life to our prayers.
As we pray regularly we will want to keep a record of our major specific prayers. For example, if we are praying for the salvation of a relative, we want to write down when we have begun to pray for that person. This can also serve as a daily reminder to pray for that person. It will also serve to remind us that while God may not answer our requests right away, when he answers them we will be reminded that he has not forgotten them.
Bill Hybels tells the following story: “I want to tell you about a baptism that we had some years ago. I bumped into a woman in the stairwell who was crying. I thought this was a little odd, since the service was so joyful. I asked her if she was all right. She said, ‘No, I’m struggling.’
She said, ‘My mom was baptized today. I prayed for her every day for almost 20 years. The reason I’m crying is because I came this close to giving up on her. At the 5-year mark I said, ‘Who needs this? God isn’t listening.’ At the 10-year mark I said, ‘Why am I wasting my breath?’ At the 15-year mark I said, ‘This is absurd.’ At the 19-year mark I said, ‘I’m just a fool.’ I just kept trying, kept praying. Even with weak faith I kept praying. Then she gave her life to Christ, and she was baptized today. I will never doubt the power of prayer again.’”
What about you? I know some of you have had some prayers that have gone unanswered, and you’ve almost bailed out on prayer because of that. I would tell you again on behalf of Jesus Christ, don’t lose heart.
Establish a time and place for regular prayer. Find a method that works for you. You need not limit your prayers to this one time during the day. You can pray at any time during the day and throughout the day.
Let me close with a quotation from Paul’s letter to the Philippians:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (4:6)