FADE IN:

EXT: A NEIGHBORHOOD - MORNING

Snow gives a block of houses a surrealistic feel. All are neat and clean, all in the lower 40-60 thousand range. There is activity on the block, as husbands and wives make their way to work. But one house, with children's toys in the yard and an old beat-up car in the driveway, is strangely quiet.

INT: A BEDROOM - MORNING

The furnishings are odds and ends, hand-me-downs from friends and family. Two sleeping forms are in a bed: DONALD "DONNY" SHAFFER, a few years shy of the big 4-0, is lean in an overworked, underpaid sort of way. He snores loudly beside his wife BECKY, an attractive woman who has her head jammed between two pillows.

On the bedside table, a clock sits precariously on top. It reads: 4:54. The clock's cord has been unplugged. Beside the cord, are an assortment of toys.

INT: A LIVING ROOM - MORNING

In front of a color TV--that displays only the color green--one year old JENNY SHAFFER sits quietly, gazing at the opening credits of a local morning news show. Music whines out of the set as three year old GEORGIE SHAFFER walks to the back of the TV.

Suddenly the screen goes blank. Georgie comes from behind the TV holding the plug. He's pleased as punch as he hands it to Jenny.

Coming into the room, DEBBIE SHAFFER--age eight going on 50-- gives her siblings a tolerant look as she grabs up the loose plug and goes to the back of the TV and reconnects it.

Debbie comes around the TV and changes the channel to a cartoon. From the kitchen there's the sound of a door opening, then slamming shut. Suddenly a large shaggy DOG bounds into the living room, sopping wet and slobbering.

Georgie comes in looking pleased as punch. But his smile suddenly wanes as he, Debbie, and Jenny watch the dog lumber down the hall into their parent's room. The kids give each other a boy-we-are-in-deep-trouble look as screams come from the bedroom.

INT: KITCHEN - MORNING

It's a madcap race to feed three kids and a dog in three minutes. Becky grabs bowls, cereal, spoons, and milk with ease. She runs around the table pushing the bowls in front of the kids, dumping cereal, milk and shoving spoons at the bewildered three.

In races Donny, who is trying to pull on his pants, socks in one hand and waving a shirt in the other.

Becky looks up, anger flashing in her eyes. She slams a spoon into a bowl of cereal. Cereal flies and the kids duck.

She slams down a glass of milk. The kids cringe. Donny stares at his harried wife and cringing kids.

Without finishing the sentence, he turns and with dejection weighing heavily on his shoulders, walks out of the kitchen. Becky sighs sadly. She wishes that she hadn't spoken so harshly.

Becky turns away from the kids and makes herself busy by closing the dog food bag.

INT: A DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY

There's a sale on. Banners proclaim: ONE DAY MADNESS SALE. People are crowding the aisles looking for bargains, except one, where Donny stands with a grin plastered on his face.

He stands by a microwave oven. A sale sign is stuck on the oven door. People don't even glance his way as they hurry to towel and electronic and shoe sales. He tries to get customers to come look anyway. Even to the point of trying to drag them to the appliances. That doesn't work.

He gives it another try.

Still no takers. Donny looks around, discouraged. He gets more discouraged as he sees his boss walking toward him. MR. McBEALSON is a heavy-set, balding man with a perpetual glare on his face and a cigar between his lips.

DONNY
Oh geeze, just what I need.

As Mr. McBealson walks up, Donny gives him a big smile.

Mr. McBealson gives Donny a nasty look.

McBealson leans close to Donny and puffs smoke in his face. Donny coughs discreetly.

McBealson glances at the kitchen appliances around Donny. He laughs uproariously at his joke. Donny smiles wanly.

McBealson laughs again and puffs a smoke ring at Donny, then turns and leaves.

INT: AN OFFICE - DAY

Becky is typing fast and furiously at a computer. She hears her name come rumbling down the hall and snaps her head toward the sound.

Becky sighs, gets up from her desk, and walks down the hall to an office.

INT: OFFICE - DAY

Sitting behind a huge desk, we see CARMELLA KINGSLEY, a woman in her late fifties. She's a real bitch. Becky comes into the room smiling sweetly.

Kingsley taps a manicured fingernail on the shiny mahogany desk. She glares at Becky for a long second.

Becky sighs and walks out the door.

INT: DEPARTMENT STORE - DAY

Donny is demonstrating a microwave oven. In front of him is a table with an assortment of food: a potato, a steak, a chicken leg, a cup of water. Donny grabs the cup of water, puts it in the microwave, shuts the door, and turns it on. He turns back to his unseen audience and smiles.

The bell dings and Donny takes out a steaming cup of water and shows it to his audience: a group of kids. Babies in strollers. Kids from one to six. They look at Donny in various stages of boredom.