Toni's episode ratings

The
Best and Worst
Xena: Warrior Princess episodes


This list is current through the end of the third season; No fourth season episodes have been ranked. In case anyone is interested, I also wrote up a description of how I made these lists.



Top 10 Bottom 10
the Best!
  1. The Debt (parts 1 & 2)
  2. The Bitter Suite
  3. The Furies
  4. Remember Nothing
  5. The Price
  6. Destiny
  7. Maternal Instincts
  8. Sins of the Past
  9. Is There a Doctor in the House
  10. The Reckoning
  
  1. Death Mask
  2. King Con
  3. Forget Me Not
  4. Giant Killer
  5. Fins, Femmes, and Gems
  6. The King of Assassins
  7. Here She Comes... Miss Amphipolis
  8. Vanishing Act
  9. The Prodigal
  10. A Solstice Carol
the worst
 


Commentary

The Best...

#1  The Debt, parts 1 and 2 (I link the two episodes together because they tell one complete story, and the quality was maintained between the two parts)

Xena travels to the Land of Chin to repay an obligation due an old friend, and via flashbacks we learn of her time there when she was a young and bloodthirsty warrior.
Wow, is there anything NOT to like about this episode? It had great action scenes. Xena in slew of costumes, from tattered rags, to silk kimonos, to a ninja look. Fascinating revelations of Xena's past. The fun of seeing the young Xena as a knife-throwing, spitting, sadistic savage. Getting to know Borias, the father of her son. The shocking scenes of Gabrielle's betrayal. All of this plus some sex, romance, mystery, and far-East philosophy thrown in. Yes, this one had all the best Xena-esque elements.

But more importantly, not only does it have generous helpings of all the required elements, the parts are held together by a tightly written script. The script is smart. The story is slowly revealed to us. Unlike the case of the vast majority of TV shows, I had no idea how it was going to end until it did. The past and present stories merge together so well that the final scene seemed to be the denouement of both story lines. That's impressive, and rare for a "flashback" episode.

It's also a pivotal episode in the universe of Xena. We now know that there was a kernel of Good in Xena long ago.

I guess I could've done without the gory sight of the miles and miles of spiked heads along the Great Wall. But that's my only vague complaint.

This one is simply the best.

#2  The Bitter Suite

Transported to an imaginary musical land, Gabrielle and Xena resolve the rift between them.
When I first heard they were going to do a musical episode, I thought to myself, "this is going to be bad." I just couldn't imagine them doing something so far away from the series' normal style and having it work.

Well, I was wrong. Here it is, second on my best list. It was wonderful.

First of all, This episode is just fun to watch. (Well, except for that early part where Gabby gets dragged.) All the costumes, the rich symbolism (and thank you to those who set up web pages explaining the Tarot Card connection. I never would've figured it out if it hadn't been for the excellent sites about it.), the whimsical and colorful sets, the choreography (I'm still boggling over the dancing warriors)... it's just a visual delight.

I have a weakness for musicals in general, and especially for witty lyrics. The songs of this episode are delightfully clever.

I also give it high marks for being such a clever way to resolve the conflict between Gabrielle and Xena. So little of TV is ever original. Here they did something really unique. Episodes earlier in this season had Gabby and Xena both lying and deceiving one another. Instead of copping out to a phony happy ending at the end of each show, the conflict was actually allowed to build. Something extraordinary was needed to "reset" the relationship between the characters, and the creators of show managed to come up with an idea that did it.

#3  The Furies

The Furies punish Xena for not avenging the death of her father by driving her mad.
The Stooge humor of this one put me off a bit on first viewing. But not enough to spoil the overall quality of the episode. And in hindsight, I think the humor was necessary to balance the otherwise dark theme of the story.

Once again, we learned more about Xena's past, about what made her who she is today. It's great that things like that are revealed in a story that's interesting in itself, rather than just having the past explained to us, as so many other TV shows do. We learned the truth (or did we?) about Xena's father. While, at the same time, we watched her battle insanity, outwit Ares (again), enhance her relationship with Gabrielle, and grow closer to her mother. Nicely done.

The episode is rich in all the elements I've come to love in the show. It has the fun action scenes (including a fight with the God of War himself), revelations into Xena's past, development of her and Gabrielle's characters, humor, and emotional intensity.

This is one I re-watch a lot. I like to watch Xena's downslide into madness. And how, even mad, she manages to outsmart the Gods. Very impressive.

#4  Remember Nothing

The Three Fates grant Xena's wish to live as if she had never been a warrior.
This one ranks so high because (amongst other reasons) it makes an important statement about Xena.

The story was basically a clever twist on the "It's a Wonderful Life" gimmick. Nothing new there. But exposure to this story puts a whole new angle on the adventures of Xena and Gabrielle.

The show as a whole often focuses on Xena's remorse over her evil past, on her quest for redemption. She now lives to do good. But surely it would be easier if she could just go back, and just un-do everything, to have never been evil in the first place? Then there would be no need to seek forgiveness. This episode teaches us that that isn't so.

When she's given the opportunity to be that never-evil person, Xena learns that that universe wasn't so great after all. Some people and things are better off, but some are worse.

For every choice, there good and bad ramifications. We don't live in isolation; every action we make effects those around us. And the world is changed by a gradual accumulation of these small, individual choices. This episode managed to bring out this fundamental truth in a clever and entertaining way. I'm in awe of the way a campy, action-adventure show can make profound statements like this, and yet manage to be entertaining at the same time. It's one of the things I like best about the show and why this episode ranks so high.

At the end of the episode Xena says, "I'm more myself than ever." She now knows, and has accepted, that it is and always was her proper fate to be a warrior.

#5  The Price

In order to fight an unstoppable army known only as The Horde, Xena reverts back to her warlike ways.
This episode shows how an often-used theme can still be done really well.

We've seen Xena backslide before. We've seen her rely on Gabby's goodness and strength as a lifeline to pull herself back from the brink of evil darkness. We've even seen her do that chilling yell, "Kill them all!" before. So why does this episode stand out?

Well for one thing, it cleverly uses our familiarity with Xena for shock value. When faced with an approaching enemy, and Xena the Destroyer of Nations, pales and shouts, "RUN!", it sends chills up our spines. Who is it that Xena would run from? We know the extremes to which Xena will go to save her wounded men; when she starts stacking them up as decoys, we're made to feel the desperation of the situation. It's a wonderful way to reward faithful viewers, manipulating familiar character traits like this.

Both Xena and Gabrielle are strong in this one, while being true to their respective selves. We're given some strong development of both characters. In addition the show works in an interesting moral, that being, that there's more than one way to deal with any problem.

And besides, that fight with the Horde leader was really cool.

#6  Destiny

Xena is mortally wounded while fighting some bandits. As Gabrielle tries to get her to help, Xena flashes back to a time when her encounter with Julius Caesar changed the course of her life.
This is another one that did just about everything right. Gabby is strong and able. She and Xena have touching, meaningful moments. There are several scenes of fun, exciting action. And we learn gobs and gobs of background information about Xena.

Every fan of Xena wants to know more about her. How did she learn about pressure points? And, where did she learned her fantastic fighting techniques? This episode shows us.

In addition, we learn how and why Xena was turned to evil. That story needed to be told, because Xena is so obviously an intelligent and caring person. We already knew that she first fought to protect her village, and then to avenge the death of a brother. But how did she become a full-fledged warlord? Why so blood lustful and evil? This episode showed us that, too.

Her decent into Evil is finally explained.

The episode slipped in the rankings a bit because it has a lot of "filler" time, Gabrielle trudging through the snow, fade shots of Xena's ship and so forth. (does anybody know, was this one filmed during the time Lucy Lawless was out of action with her injury?) If the script had been tighter, more full of those little details that the higher-ranked ones have, I think it could have been at the top.

#7  Maternal Instincts

Gabrielle's daughter Hope is not only alive, but has teamed up with Callisto and is out to destroy Xena by attacking her son, Solan.
This episode was uneven, but the strong parts are really strong.

I don't particularly like the dramatic gimmick of introducing children for the instant sympathy they invoke. But I forgive them for it here because the episode was still about the primary characters, not the kids. I also had a little trouble believing how slow Gabrielle was to figure out that the little girl was Hope, and how stubborn she was about seeing Hope's true nature.

But the episode really shines in the second half. Anyone who has grown to know Xena had to feel the agony when her son, whom she'd given up to keep safe, was killed. A lesser series might've ended the episode right there. But XWP went further. The parallel scene, when Callisto hears Xena's cry of pain, is exquisite. It's subtle, then shocking, as Callisto first takes delight in Xena's suffering, and then...slowly... realizes that it does not fulfill her. The achievement of Callisto's life's dream (making Xena suffer as she herself had), did nothing for her. She is still empty. I gasped as I understood what both of them, hero and villain, were feeling. What an incredible payoff for loyal viewers.

But the script doesn't stop there. Xena must still deal with Callisto, and Gabrielle, with Hope. Interestingly enough, they both make the same decision, separately. They both decide to live when dying would have been easier. What courageousness these women display.

These are strong moments in the lives of these characters we've come to know so well. It makes up for the poorer moments.

#8  Sins Of The Past

The premier episode. Xena heads to her home town of Amphipolis to begin her life of doing good.
This one still stands as the quintessential Xena Episode. There's a hint of romance and some revelations into her past. The guilt and repentance themes are introduced. Gabrielle is at her annoying and perky best. And it has great fight scenes. The mold for the series is cast: XWP will be a multi-faceted show, rich in many different elements.

#9  Is There A Doctor In The House?

Caught in the crossfire of a civil war, Xena and Gabrielle tend to the wounded and look for a way to put an end to the fighting.
This one is most memorable for the dramatic scene at the end, when Xena refuses to let Gabrielle stay dead. Definitely an memorable moment. But there's richness throughout the episode.

Gabrielle is used extremely well. Her purity of heart, in risking her own life to save others and in her storytelling to the Mitoan general are the two most obvious examples. I thought her unintentional challenge to Xena ("You can't stop an entire war.") in the opening scene was brilliant. Finally, I understood why Xena would put up with this babbling child. There is wisdom to be reaped there; Gabby's way of looking at things is actually a resource for Xena. Xena has since spoken that idea, but in this episode, they showed us instead of having to tell us.

I much prefer nuances like this that develop the relationship between the two than heavy-hand recitations of the obvious ("I brought her into this danger.") that the series sometimes uses.

I also enjoyed the display of Xena's medical expertise, implausible though it might be. The conflict between the two styles of healing, the faith-style healer verses the hands-on approach, fit in well with another repeating theme of the show. That being, that we are in charge of our own fates.

This episode rates lower than others because it was a little slow in spots. It also lacks a cool fight scene.

#10  The Reckoning

Xena tries to defend some villagers from a mysterious attacker, only to be blamed for the deaths of men the cloaked man had killed. Unbeknownst to her, it turns out to be a trick of Ares'.
Ah, this early episode is still so sweet.

It's the first time we meet Ares, and get a healthy dose of his wicked seductiveness. It's also the first time the issue of Xena being held accountable for her past deeds is dealt with. It's a gem because it holds the seeds of so many elements we that grow in the series.

We see Xena grow in (inner) strength, becoming able to resist Ares' temptations. We see her backslide a bit, striking Gabrielle for the first time. But then she quickly regains control of herself, and is immediately remorseful. She resolves the predicament without using violence. It's also the first time (first of many!) that she outwits Ares.

Many fine seeds, to be explored in greater depth in subsequent episodes, are first planted in this one.

The 10 Worst

#1  Death Mask
Xena and her estranged brother fight the warlord Cortese.
I don't think I understood this episode. First, they bring this second brother in out of the blue. How come Xena has never mentioned him before? Considering the fierce loyalty, even in death, she's showed her other brother, it seems odd that she never even mentioned having another one. It didn't feel like Toris belonged in the same family as Xena, Lyceus and Cyrene at all.

I also thought that Xena, the pre-warrior princess, thoroughly trounced the warlord who attacked their village. Now we find out he's been living happily ever after all this time? It's unbelievable that Xena, in all her fierce warlike days, never tracked this guy down.

And then finally, the issue they tried to address of revenge, verses murder, verses justifiable killing... well it just didn't ring true to me. Plus it had all those inconsistency with previous stories. This one just seemed to be a muddle.

#2  King Con

To avenge Joxer, Xena schemes to cheat a crooked casino owner out of his wealth.
This one exemplifies a device I dislike in the series: I don't like it when they superimpose a modern institution onto the Xena universe. (The Hercules series is even worse about doing this. XWP hasn't done it too often, thank the gods.) I simply can't suspend disbelief when this is too blatant. A gambling casino in ancient Greece? Complete with poker tables and roulette wheels? No, I don't think so. The clash of such an obviously out-of-place element spoils my enjoyment.

Funny anachronism are one thing, but basing the whole plot on such a modern juxtaposition just doesn't work. They should have found some other setting to support the "Sting" plot.

And, after starting off on that bad footing, they make other mistakes. The beating of Joxer was too brutal, with too much gore. The plot didn't make sense (example: Why didn't they just kidnap the casino owner's son when they first had him?). The guest characters were not believable (did anybody believe for a moment that Wraith was dead?). And Xena and Gabby just kind of walked through pat rolls, doing nothing creative or fun.

Definitely a dud.

#3  Forget Me Not

Searching for the cause of her nightmares, Gabrielle visits the temple of Mnemosyne, eventually realizing that she betrayed Xena (in the episode "The Debt") for selfish reasons.
Did this seem like a filler episode to anybody else?

This one ranks lower than the one above it because not only was it a dud, but it had more negative qualities. No Xena. Lots of Joxer. No exciting fight scenes. Gabrielle out of character.

I dislike plots where the audience has no chance whatsoever of figuring out the 'answer'. In this case, since we had to be shown the scene where Gabby made the deal with Ares, all we could do was sit back and watch things unfold.

It did have one cute line, Gabrielle's, "...this thing I'm wearing keeps getting smaller..."

#4  Giant Killer

Xena joins the Israelites' fight against the Philistines and kills the giant Goliath.
This one brings out a couple of my pet peeves. First of all, the timeline thing. Does Xena live during the Golden Age of Greece? In the first century of Imperial Rome? Or centuries before that, as implied in this episode? I don't mind them mixing up things a bit, but enough is enough.

I'm also not happy to see the series give Christianity a place of primacy. We've seen Xena interlaced with several icons of the Christian mythos. I'd like to see the series extend its reach. Where are the gods and heroic characters of Babalonia? Egypt? (Okay, we saw a very lame Cleopatra one time.) How about the wonderful Hindu pantheon of gods? If they're going to exploit the myths of one culture, why not all?

Gabrielle was out of character in this one, acting like a ditzy airhead. The action was bland. Since we all knew the way the story ended, that Goliath must fall, there was no excitement or tension to the plot. The only purpose seemed to be to insert Xena into the Goliath myth. But she didn't really have anything to do.

#5  Fins, Femmes, and Gems

Aphrodite casts a spell on Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer, causing them each to be obsessed with... well, you had to see it.
What is it with the fishing jokes?

I just didn't like the humor in this one. Everybody being silly, all at once. It was just too over-the-top. And since that humor was all there was to this episode, there's nothing left to like.

#6  The King of Assassins

Gabrielle and Joxer stop Joxer's evil brother from assassinating Cleopatra.
Enough with the genetic look-alikes. I've enjoyed the Princess Diana/Meg/Priestess Leah conundrums, because Lucy Lawless can pull it off. But who wants to see two Joxers?

Also, the Cleopatra character was extremely weak. The real historical person must've been dynamic and exciting; this part was flat. Particularly so compared to the strong women we've come to expect on this show.

I also didn't buy the dumb Gabby shtick. Gabrielle has been steadily gaining confidence and skills. She seemed to have regressed to a less competent person in this episode.

I can't remember a single significant thing that happened in this episode. This was another one that felt like a filler episode, hastily slapped together, to give the supporting/repeating characters something to do.

So this episode over-uses a gimmick, has poor guest characters, has Gabby acting out of character, and barely any Xena in it. It's a wonder it doesn't rank lower.

#7  Here She Comes... Miss Amphipolis

Xena poses as a beauty contestant in order to prevent a war.
Near as I can tell, the sole purpose of this one was to see Xena in a bunch of silly, frilly costumes.

Certainly there was nothing unique, or even interesting, in the prevent-a-war-between-rival-factions subplot. We've seen that one a zillion times before. If the show's creators meant to say something profound about our culture's habit of judging women by their appearance, they could have found a less blatant way to do it. The beauty pageant is such an obvious flash point of modern America's obsession with skin that it's an easy institution to attack.

Did we learn anything new about Xena or Gabrielle in this episode? No. Did we see any character development? Any touching or exciting moments? No, no and no. Oh, it did have some cheesy pseudo-titillating jokes.

This episode superimposes a modern institution on the ancient time period. Uses a trite convention. Recycles a common Xena subplot. Not the series' best day.

#8  Vanishing Act

Xena and Gabby help Autolycus recover a huge gold statue of Pax.
This episode makes mistake of centering the story around a subsidiary character, even if he is an almost-regular, without giving Xena or Gabrielle anything interesting to do. Autocolycus can be an interesting character. But I'm interested in him when he's a foil for Xena and/or Gabrielle. I'm not interested in watching the Autocolycus-picks-a-thousand-locks show.

Xena and Gabrielle are put in silly, no-purpose costumes. Again. Yawn. There was no character development for either of them. Lots of un-funny silliness. These bad ones sure rack up the negative elements.

#9  The Prodigal

Gabrielle has second thoughts about her life with Xena, and decides to go back home to Podidiea.
Bah, one of the rare episodes without any redeeming features whatsoever. For one thing, Gabrielle was out of character. So she lost her nerve once, so what? Like she's never been afraid before? It's not weakness to be afraid, but it is to run away because of it. Gabby never before suffered from this kind of character flaw, she always been brave about facing up to her problems. So why all the angst now?

But on the assumption that she was just having a bad day, the episode still flops. The 'you can't go home again' theme has already been explored, and done much better. (For example, Xena tried to do that exact thing in the premier episode.) And in this one, Gabby doesn't genuinely explore the ramifications of going home. Instead she just gets involved in some silly secondary plot.

That secondary plot, the old drunken has-been warrior, was obviously derivative of the old western "Cat Balou". The actor even looked like Lee Marvin. Now, I like the movie "Cat Balou" just fine, but the story just didn't work in the Xena universe.

There was never any doubt that Gabby et al. would save the day. There was never any doubt that she would return to Xena. We knew what was going to happen every step of the way. I hate shows like this, where the audience is reduced to just watching the characters go through the motions.

This is one show that I hardly remembered after viewing it the first time. I had to suffer through watching it on tape to remember enough to review.

...and the all-time worst:

#10  A Solstice Carol
During the Winter Solstice, Xena and Gabrielle help children at an orphanage.
A Xena-style retelling of "A Christmas Carol"? Nope, doesn't work. This is not what I watch Xena for.

Cutesy children, silly scenario, un-funny humor, dumb action. No character development for either Xena or Gabrielle. And yet another case of juxtaposing a modern ritual on a Xena plot.

This episode both lacks the things I like about the show and is full of things I dislike.

I wish they'd quit doing these holiday shows.

---

How I selected my best and worst lists:

First I downloaded a list of all the episodes from the web (see my
links page for some sites with good lists) and saved it to a file. I used a list with short descriptions of each episode, so as to jog my memory on some I hadn't seen in a while.

Then, using a text editor, I simply moved the episode titles around, cutting and pasting. I put ones I liked at the top of the list, ones I didn't like, at the bottom. I worked through the whole list like that: this one is better than the one above it, so it moves up, that one moves down, and so forth. It's pretty easy to sort into "good" ones and "bad" ones this way.

The tough part came after I got all the good ones near one another. Many of the episodes are very good, but also very different from one another. How does one decide which is "better"?

I tried not to let recentness or familiarity influence me too much. That is, there is a tendency to favor ones that are fresh in one's mind (the third season had just ended when I started making up this list) over episodes that were seen several years ago. But some of those old ones were really good! So I tried to resurrect the feelings I had when I first watched those, and hold on to that impression when ranking them with the newer ones. I think I did a pretty good job of that, because my favorites are pretty evenly distributed (3 are from the 1st season, 3 are from the second season, and 4 from the third). My least-liked episodes are more unbalanced. Fully half, 5 of the 10, are in the third season. Maybe that's because the distaste was fresh in my mind, whereas my opinion of older bad ones had had time to mellow? It wasn't because the third season was worse in general; in fact it has the most episodes rated 'execellent' overall.

Also, some episodes I have on tape, love, and have watched over and over again, while some episodes I've only seen once and hardly remember. It's hard not to mistake familiarity for quality. However, if I don't remember an episode too well, that logically indicates that it didn't make much of an impression on me, and therefore it doesn't belong in either the extremely good or bad ranges. I reserve the right to change the rankings as I catch re-runs, and perhaps realize an episode was better (or worse) than I remembered. :-)

Anyway, after I had my list made up, I just had to draw a cutoff line after 10 episodes. Ouch! Some really good ones didn't make the cut.

I didn't use a fixed scoring system, points for this and that. But as I got into it, I found myself analyzing what it was I liked about Xena: Warrior Princess. I've grown to expect certain things from a Xena episode. I also have some pet peeves, things I don't like to see. Episodes that were rich in the good things got pushed higher, ones that had more negatives went lower. I made little notes about those elements as I shuffled the shows around in rank. Then I just expanded the notes into the commentary above.

I kept the list of my ranking of all 68 of the episodes (seasons 1-3). They are broken into excellent, good, fair and poor, but are otherwise without comment.

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This page was first created January 7, 1999 and last modified May 26, 1999.